


tiger

by softhaze



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Comfort, M/M, mild panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-31 09:54:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18588856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softhaze/pseuds/softhaze
Summary: It was 4am and the walls were closing in on Matteo.





	tiger

**Author's Note:**

> not beta read. all mistakes are mine. this short piece was inspired by a prompt I received and it run in a slightly different direction than first intended.

There was a story Matteo had once heard. A story about a girl abandoned by her step mother to live in a small house in the middle of the forest. Alone. In that story there was a tiger that came to her house, carefully tiptoed around the tall trees and jumped in her room through the open window. He came in the cover of the darkness, eyes shining in the moonlight, claws extracted and mouth a terrifying grimace. Hungry, so unbelievably hungry. The shadow of him from the moonlight streaming through the window was just a grotesque monster, ready to swallow her whole. Take everything she had got to offer and eat her raw.

And right this moment, at 4am, sitting on the bed in his dark room, silence almost deafening, Matteo felt like the same tiger had come for him too, lurking in the shadows, awaiting the perfect opportunity. He was at his weakest, too sleepy and too slow, too something. Always lacking. Never enough.

The walls felt like they were slowly closing in on him, the darkness like a cloud hovering all over and somewhere in that darkness there was a tiger ready to strike, to take him out. And he couldn’t take it.

Matteo blindly reached for David, heart racing, barely able to draw a breath until he’d get to touch him. Until he wasn’t alone, drowning. Anything but this emptiness. The fact he felt the blanket polled around his waist was the only thing that still tethered him to this room and this moment.

He got a hold of the edge of David’s shirt, tugged at it. Not long after there was touch, feathery light on the side of his neck, traveling down until a hand covered his heart. And despite expecting it, he still jumped at the first contact.

“Breathe with me.” A whisper like a promise of salvation.

But he felt too far gone, gasping, white spots dancing in front of his eyes. Unable, unable to draw more than the shallowest of breaths.

“Please, breathe with me.” David rested his forehead against his temple, a comfort. Matteo concentrated to the best of his ability, listened to the slow measured breaths David was making. Listened,  _listened_  and tried to follow. The feeling like something as big as a whole tiger pressing with all his might on his chest was lessening with each breath.

David reached around him and switched on the lamp. Soft light flooded the room. Matteo didn’t remember when he had clenched his eyes shut but now he had them wide open, his breathing a bit shaky but stable.

He took in the room, the messy couch and the books strewn on the table and plates stacked in the corner from their dinner and there was no tiger. There had never been any tigers.

Matteo exhaled slowly. His hand covered David’s hand, pressed closer against his heart, his beating heart. And he felt David’s nose nuzzle against his cheek, followed by a kiss. He felt grounded, present in the moment at last.

Matteo turned his head and met David’s eyes. There was concern written all over his face. “I, um–” They had established early in their relationship that if sometimes things like these happen, no apologies will be necessary. That didn’t mean Matteo didn’t have them at the tip of his tongue at times, had to swallow them back down together with the guilt and the fear of abandonment. Shove them so far down they won’t see sunlight ever again. “I got worried about my future.”

He didn’t want to elaborate. Not now. Not about everything that had been eating him alive. The complicated feelings about being left behind while everyone figured their shit out, moved on in their lives, went to university and got jobs. While he failed, while he felt like he was too much to handle.

“That’s okay. I can help you figure things out if you wish.” David turned the hand around his Matteo’s grasp and intertwined their fingers. 

Matteo was filled to the brim with fondness for David, warmth spreading through where once was just cold. “Thank you.” _I love you._

“Let’s sleep.” David landed a kiss on the tip of Matteo’s nose and Matteo crunched it up, a smile teasing at the edges of his lips.

He nodded. “Just leave the light on.”

“Okay.”

He wouldn’t let the tiger get to him. Ever.

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted on my [tumblr](https://isakvaltrsen.tumblr.com/tagged/my%20fic).


End file.
